She looked fine on the outside, but her life changed forever. After a traumatic brain injury during a college soccer game, she went from a thriving 4.0 student-athlete to navigating neck fractures, sensory overload, and daily pain. Now, she chooses honesty over hiding!
In a soccer game during college, I was headed in the back of the head & ended up fracturing the base of my skull and two vertebrae in my neck. Quickly my life went from being a 4.0 student athlete to being in twice daily rehab, in a neck brace, no longer able to work at my jobs at a restaurant, coffee shop and movie theatre and of course no longer able to play sports.
Back then Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) was even less researched than it is now, so the entire experience was super confusing. I LOOKED okay, but my body was suffering. I was dizzy all the time, had a migraine every single day, couldn’t be anywhere loud or bright, etc.
After two years of therapy, I realized that I could either succomb to my pain or pretend it doesn’t exist. I chose the latter. I transferred colleges and told almost no one. I couldn’t go to parties or work normal jobs & spent all my free time in clinics or hospitals.
College turned into my professional life & I continued to push through. Nobody knew that I held onto railings in the hallways because of dizziness, that I had to wear ear and eye protection at home games to deal with the sensory overload. My friends didn’t know I declined dinners, blocked out entire weeknights and left places early because my brain was crashing all the time.
In 2018 my body was getting noticeably worse. I was vomiting from the pain while at work & struggled to sit b/c of my spinal cord injury. Finally in 2019, my heart seemed to be overwhelmed by the pain which is when I started realizing that “pushing through” pain isn’t always the right answer.
Now we are working to “unravel” a lot of the complications likely caused by untreated TBI, but for me that also means undoing old ways of thinking. Sports teach us that pushing through pain is ‘persevering’. Social media teaches us to hide our struggles because people don’t want to be ‘burdened’ by your pain and fears.
I’m not sharing this because I except instagram to cure me or anything like that. I’m sharing this because I know a lot of people are struggling right now & I hope by being more open with my struggle with disability, it will inspire you to not hide your struggle❤