A woman shares her story of going through a miscarriage for the second time. It’s about the season marked by loss, unexpected joy, and spiritual surrender! “We may not hold our baby here, but we believe they’re held by a love far greater than our grief?” Is there any more beautiful than hope itself?
The letter board should have read “Growing More Than Plants, April 2021”, and up until last week it did.
This wasn’t the plant-themed photo that I was planning to post. This isn’t the kind of news we thought we would be sharing, especially after our ectopic pregnancy in April. There should have been third installment on how we were healing and moving forward to round out our loss, but as many say, if you want God to laugh, tell Him your plans.
I planned to make an entry on the blog about how we were going to continue trying to conceive and grow our family, the fears that we tackled, the anticipated hardship and wavering grief…and instead, we found ourselves pregnant the cycle we got cleared to start trying again. Again, thanks NFP, you’re a real one 😅. There were no words to adequately express our joy, my anxiety, or the surprise to those who we told that we were pregnant again.
This time around, our loss is different. I should have been close to 11 weeks pregnant based on my LMP, but baby immediately measured smaller than it should have, adjusting me back over a week and a half. Because of this, it was slightly anticipated, and then confirmed, and the fall out and resolution feels…strangely comforting. We found out at 8w3d, our baby’s soul had left for Jesus at about 7w5d.
I don’t think that I have all the words to tell this part of our story or the story of this baby (who DOES have a name, but more on that later) yet, but when I do, I’ll be sharing. I’ve always said that I think bearing witness is one of the most meaningful ways to show the Lord’s love, even in the hardest of times, and this one is no exception.
To our second sweet saint, you give us a reason to strive and long for a seat at the Heavenly feast. We love you.
No matter how great the hurt, His love is greater.