Some stories carry more weight than words can ever hold; this is one of those. After enduring the trauma of miscarriage, joy reentered the picture with a second pregnancy. You can get a hold of yourself in a way, one can’t even imagine!
Devastated.
i wouldn’t be able to share this so quickly if i hadn’t already been through hell this year. and it’s not something i can hide or want to. I want to talk about this especially if someone else has been through similar issues.
On monday darian and i went in for our first ultrasound, 7 weeks pregnant and were so excited. we even saw a rainbow as we were driving honoring our second pregnancy that ended in a traumatic miscarriage earlier this year. (my miscarriage story is for another day, as it has taken me months and months to process it and really only became better once we were pregnant again.)
and while i thought having a miscarriage was the worst thing that had happened to me, this was worse.
we were told at our ultrasound i had an ectopic pregnancy, and was then immediately rushed to an ER where i was told i needed to have emergency surgery. i sat there on the hospital bed and sobbed as the doctor told me I had to have one of my fallopian tubes removed. heartbroken, shattered, and devastated does not even touch how gut wrenching this day quickly became. what started out as excitement over finally being pregnant again, i came out lost and more broken. more horrible, devastating and traumatic complications occurred while back in surgery that i will not go into detail. but the ectopic pregnancy ruptured and things went down hill. i’m lucky to be here today. 🙁
the worst case scenario and “what if’s” quickly piled in.
this was not how i saw my day going, or how this pregnancy would end. 😭
darian was and is my rock through it all. his heart breaks too and watching him also lose this second child is excruciating. and i can’t imagine how helpless he feels through it all. i’m thankful he is in healthcare to walk me through everything and feel so much safer. it will be a long recovery. and even longer mentally and physically after having two worst case scenarios happen in the same year. ❤️🩹
we’re saying lots of prayers over our small family and we are trying to have faith that at some point we can keep bringing the cutest kids into this world and our home. we’re just going to try to take this day by day. ❤️🩹