Dismissed and fat-shamed by doctors for years, I was told my weight was the problem.
But one compassionate doctor finally listened and uncovered the real diagnosis PCOS.
During my teenage years, I was placed on birth control due to my irregular periods. I would receive approximately 6 annually. Some continued for a week, while others continued for two weeks. They might visit every other month or have a gap in between. They caused a lot of pain and prevented me from participating in sports or concentrating. I started to believe this was typical. I ultimately shared what I was going through, and my parents along with my doctor concurred that I should consider birth control to help manage my menstrual cycles. It was effective. It assisted me in having less painful menstrual cycles. They didn’t arrive every month precisely, but their frequency felt much more typical, making this my new routine. At times, I would experience the intensely painful kind of the past, but in general, I was feeling significantly improved. The collage appeared and passed without any significant problems. After that, I relocated to Chicago for work and had to search for a new physician.
A colleague referred me to this very upscale women’s health clinic. It seemed very elegant, and I was thrilled to meet my physician. I was quite impressed by her and had confidence in her when she suggested I try a different type of birth control. The NuvaRing. She proposed this since she believed there must be a reason my periods were still irregular, and she thought this could be the answer. I attempted it but returned to her after three months because it made me feel quite strange.
I experienced anxiety, sadness, and struggled to control my feelings. I didn’t feel like my usual self and I needed a prescription for my former birth control. She mentioned that it would be wise for me to allow the Nuva Ring some time to adjust and that I would be fine. I departed in agreement with this plan, yet several months passed and I still wasn’t ‘balanced.’ I should mention that she urged me to undergo an STD test during this visit (after I expressed that I was already feeling quite emotional). Her logic was that while I believed I was in a serious relationship, I don’t truly know what my partner is doing. Essentially, suggesting that he might be unfaithful to me.
I departed without what I desired (my previous prescription) and with a new worry that my partner was being unfaithful to me. Enjoyment
As time passed, I didn’t experience the ‘balance’ she had guaranteed, leading me to think that perhaps I could forgo birth control… there are alternative ways to avoid pregnancy, and my partner and I chose to pursue that option. I regarded birth control merely as a method to avoid pregnancy, and the one I was using appeared to disrupt my hormones significantly, which I found unpleasant. What I didn’t understand was that I had a prevalent condition known as PCOS, and the pill had been beneficial for me… Further details on that will follow.
I stopped using the Nuva ring and very soon experienced the ‘balance’ I had desired. I felt like my true self once more, which was wonderful. However, this was accompanied by the familiar experience of my periods that I had remembered from my teenage years. Once more, I adjusted to my new routine and simply managed it.
However, now that I am an adult, a new problem has arisen alongside the cramps, pain, clots, etc. It appeared that I was rapidly gaining weight. I put on around 20 pounds within a year, and when it was finally time to return to the doctor (I had been postponing my annual visit, which isn’t wise given our family history of breast cancer), I went back to her… The doctor who appeared not to listen. The physician who was diminishing my faith. She was upset to learn that I had discontinued the Nuva Ring and once more attempted to persuade me to resume using it. She also proceeded to shame me for my weight. After checking my new weight and inquiring about what was happening, I explained that I hadn’t made any changes, but I was no longer using birth control. That was everything that had altered…. Perhaps I experienced higher stress levels? I began a new job… I was contemplating changes and attempting to discover a reason. She then disclosed her solution to me… Seriously, she said to me, “You realize that if you cut back on those donuts and Frappuccinos, you would halt your weight gain.” This isn’t something I was even using regularly or that could have been a reason in any way. I exited that meeting in tears and promised to never go back. I began steering clear of the doctor. I no longer required them since I had no prescription to renew, so what was the purpose?
As time passed, I discovered how to love myself once more. This updated version of myself is approximately 60 pounds heavier now, and I realized I had to seek a new physician.
However, now that I am an adult, a new problem accompanied the cramps, pain, clots, and so on… I appeared to be putting on weight rather rapidly. I added around 20 pounds over the course of a year, and when it was finally time to return to the doctor (I had been postponing my annual check-up and with breast cancer in our family, this is not something I should be neglecting), I went back to her… The doctor who appeared not to pay attention. The physician who was diminishing my confidence. She was displeased to learn that I had ceased using the Nuva Ring and once more attempted to persuade me to use it again. She further proceeded to shame me for being overweight.
Upon seeing my new weight and inquiring about the situation, I explained that I hadn’t made any alterations, but I was no longer using birth control. That was everything that had altered… Perhaps I was under more stress? I began a new job… I was contemplating changes and attempting to discover a reason. Subsequently, she revealed her solution to me… Seriously, she said to me, ‘If you stopped eating all those donuts and Frappuccino’s, you wouldn’t keep gaining weight.’ This wasn’t something I was regularly consuming or anything that could have been the cause. I exited that meeting in tears and promised myself not to go back. I began to steer clear of the doctor. Since I no longer had a prescription to refill, I didn’t actually need them anymore, so what was the purpose?
As time passed, I discovered how to love myself once more. This updated version of myself is roughly 60 pounds heavier right now, and I realized I had to seek a new physician.
When my annual came back around, I asked for her once more. This time I had put on more weight, which was turning into my new standard. This time I mentioned it. I recounted my experience, and she recommended we conduct blood tests to check my thyroid. The tests returned results, and there was nothing observable. I was in good health. It’s an odd sensation to receive a healthy blood report while feeling so unwell. At this moment, I had gained roughly 80 pounds and I didn’t feel like myself. I felt uneasy.
This is the moment and place where my life transformed. My new physician was incredible! She was also worried about my rapid weight increase since I ceased taking birth control, but instead of criticizing me, she inquired, jotted down notes, and mentioned she needed to examine my records. I returned for a follow-up a few weeks later when she stated, ‘You have PCOS.’ She clarified that the challenging aspect of PCOS is the absence of a definitive test to diagnose it; instead, symptoms can be monitored and conditions observed through ultrasounds… Cysts, among others. Based on everything I told her, she confirmed that I do have it. I suffer from PCOS.
Awesome, but what precisely is PCOS??? I had come across it but required further investigation. I experienced relief, frustration, and anger all simultaneously. Resentment for all the moments I disliked my physique. Every moment I was instructed by others to despise my body. All the years of strain resulting from this procedure. At this stage of my path, I had always been big, but the swift increase in weight felt frightening since I was uncertain about where or when it would stop.
My doctor continues to assist me, and I recently discovered that I not only have PCOS but also endometriosis and a heart-shaped bicornuate uterus. Life is a journey, and I continue to learn, embrace self-love, and, most importantly, discover methods to strengthen my advocacy for my needs.